Thursday, October 30, 2008

Its all coming back to me (De Ja Vu)

I finished work at 10pm lastnite. Before i went home , i decided to hangout in the Black Canyon Coffe Restaurant downstairs at the ground floor. I ordered a hot americano, some light food and smoke ciggarette while lookin out at the highway. After stress working, i love to be alone sitting n relaxing. Suddenly there's a group of chinese chicks came n sit not far from my table. One of them look very familiar but i dun think she was who i think she was...suddenly its all coming back to me and this old story came flashing in my mind.

13 years ago , there was a trouble boy who just moved to a new school. Being in form 5, this is his last year schooling and after SPM, school will be left behind. Its Sekolah Menengah Raja Abdullah kepong dat time. This boy dun have much friend. He's always on his own isolated. But being isolated is good for some people.There was this beautiful girl name Tan Hui Kim. She's so kind and friendly. fate brought the two of them together. She was the first person who came n make friend with this boy. After quite sometimes being together, the question bout different race was never a problem. They get along just fine. They also help each other and being there for one and another.

The boy found himself in love with her. So...this boy plan to confess his feelings towards her girl. He bought some roses and love letter (dat time no emails..just letter lol) on the valanetine's day. ***muslim dont celebrate valentine's day but just taking advantage on dat day coz normally ppl kinda feel cloud 9 during valentine's day. I remember dat day....the day of the tragedy. After school, the boy intend to proceed with his plan. Once reaching the school gate, he saw his dream girl across the street. He called for her, telling dat he got something for her. And so the girl cross the street towards him. Dat was the time when she got hit by a car. The girl died on the way to the hospital. trapped with guilt, regreat and self-hate, the boy left from the school. He blame himself for what happened.

After dat tragedy, i never seen the boy again. He left.... Turn up for the spm, then he left. nobody ever seen him since then. Seeing your love one died right infront of u is something unbearable. I knew them both. both somehow...isolated from other ppl. They live in their own world. Since then i learned that compassion is a weakness and weakness is a diesease. Life is fragile and death is inevitable.

And so this girl i met in the restaurant remind me of her and dat boy. Coz we're in the same class. While drinkin my hot coffee and watching my ciggarette smoke fading in the air, the story keep on playin on my mind....


Tought of today

Hopefully everythings will be back to normal. No more shitty connection and system faulty. Im not used to letting the players waiting. Although sometimes i had to but i dun have a choice. To gain back players confidence, i need to work more but i cant do my work well if these kinda disturbance come fucking up everything. lets see how's today


Sexy Warriror of mmorpg?

If we see nowadays, mmorpg chick characters are mostly sexy to the max. I dont deny that the character design along with all the armor and equipment are really fantastic. But its funny to see a warrior lady go into battle with just covering their pussies and breasts. Why not just make the character naked? This is pathehicly bullshit. Going into war, i think it'll be more logic if a warriors cover their who body for protection. Its funny to see a female character go into war with 90% naked lol!. Actually making a female character sexy is to attract players to play the game. But i think players should open their mind as well. Come on man...we're playing dun need sexy...only good design and game play. If need to see half naked woman, better go watch porno or blue film....totaly 100% naked!!


shitty connection

We're having a system faulty this few days. Becoz of this problem, my capability to solve case become so limited. Office also shitty connection. Hope this'll be fix soon so i can get back on the track and do wut im suppose to do. PSO community also having problem registering the cibmall account. there's a lot need to be done


Should have listen to me....

Shit happens. I failed to achieve this month (october) sales target. I feel bad and feel kinda hopeless. After the gudang point hack incident, the sales for the game is slowly get back on it feet. The concurrent also slowly increase. Then this shit bout game royalty happened that lead PSO to be shut down on 1st November. Still got 2 week left by the time i got the news and still time to avoid pso from being closed. My suggestion is to keep the news from the players while we workout something to save the game. Unfortunately my suggestion was denied. Directed by the management, i had no choice than to announce the news. Once the news got out, PSO lost 80% of it sale. I dont blame the players. I mean, who want to invest money in a game dats gonna die at anytime? Not only dat, alot of players quit. I play this game 4 years and i know well bout this game the the players. I wish they should've listen to my idea on the first place. Now PSO profit like shit, concurrent as well. Although the game is not going to be closed, but to win back players confidence is not easy. Now becoz of this, i've failed to achieve the target and make me look stupid and hopeless in front of my sales manager. Wtf!?? I fucking wish they listen to me on the first place.


Previous Statement

Emm...refering to my previous not siding anyone. Whoever exploits, i will hunt down n punished. The point is that before we accusing someone with any accusation, we should look into the mirror and judge ourself first before judging other people. Its better to improve ourself than justifying other people. Its not the question of which clans but one self. Its not who u are underneath but what u do that defines u.


Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Where do i stand now?

Back when i was a player, there's always accusation to the smc/mxc/koh players dat they're exploiting....having illegal items and so on. So the image and bad impression rise among the players towards them. SMC/MXC/KOHer can be said, the clan that have most oversea players. Meanwhile SSC/SWC got the most local players. I'm SWCer. My IGN is PegawaiCegahMaksiat. Never tot that im gonna sit in the GM chair and rule PSO. At first, my target and goal is to get rid of players who exploits, GC who abuse power and those who's breaking the rules.

And so it began. As long as i know these people's exploiting or abuse power, i will force them into retirement. If they managed to cover their tracks, i will make one for them. To me, exploiters ruin the game, so i will do wuteva its necessary to put em away no matter the cost. Whether they have invested their money, less or large ammount, i dun gives a rat ass and put em away. Who oppose me shall perish. I retired gabrielleks, BadJai, TnT, DragonAngel, eldubz and many more.

Now since the game is free from exploiters, we should be thankful. But there's still. Exploiters are from those ppl who accuse other ppl exploits. I found dat the illegal items, exploits, using 3rd programme to boost damage and other fucked up things were done by SWC/SSCers as well.Its pretty shame that the local players are only know how to whining and complaints bout other ppl and yet, they're also the culprits. I will no longer give em a chance....those cretins will know...if i bring back those i put away, maybe they'll learn that trying to fuck with me will end up bad.


So many things happened

Im quite away, busy with work. There's so many things happened. This week, one of our pso/fwo players IGN azumie, died in a motorcycle accident. Al-fatihah to him and condolance to his family. This is the second death of our PSO community members. The first member, ign JJex, died from a cancer (so i heard), few years ago. Anyway, 1 day before he got into accident, he managed to told some of his PSO players to inform in the community that if he ever made mistake of offended other members, he asked for forgiveness. Life is so fragile and death is inevitable. I think we all should learn to forgive and forget. We dunno who will go next. Maybe u...maybe me.

Since i become a GM, there's a lot of hatred going on. In order to uphold the law, there's so many ppl i've punished...heavily punished. The heavy punishment is to make them scare from breaking the rules but they still do it caught and been cast away from the game, hatred rise. Maybe i've gone too far? or maybe its needed to preserve the game from any exploitation hell i dunno. Give them a second chance. To start over perhaps. All dat i know is dat im trying to get rid of all the hatred....i think i should make the first move and i think, others will follow. Insha Allah


Thursday, October 23, 2008

Qualifying Round Event

I continue the Clash Of The Titans qualifying round stage 2 lastnite from 9pm - 11pm. To choose 15 participant that will represent FK, i will need to test their skills, dmg and power. So i duel them 1 by 1. There's a lot of players that have talents and i think, can make it great during the main event. Some good tankers, some good killers and skillful to keep them alive. Some were average in tanking n dmg but skill make them managed to avoid gettin killed. the match ends, here are the qualified participant



Unfortunately, after the event over, im giving reward to those who joined the event (who duel me only) but the system got fucked up and i cant spawn items to them. Sigh. However, i will unlock some items later in the office so i can spawn ingame. Thanks to all who participate.


Sunday, October 19, 2008

Hari Raya open house

I just back from my mentor's hari raya open house. This is my first hari raya open house i ever went to. Not dat i dun have any invitation but i hardly show up in any ocassion. However, i think this is a best experience. I end up meeting a few of ol timer of pso. I think they're all cool. I met pose, MiHawk, Repo1, Tamahome, PuakaAis, Godang, MambangTanah and of course my mentor Angkasa who's hosting the open house. It was a rainy day and a lot of PSO players couldnt make it due to heavy rain and traffice jam. I came with dinee (Gratitude). Its was nice talk bout online games and the good old days back when i was not a GM, just a normal players who was still low level at dat time. They're far experienced and respected players. I do hope they will come back to the game and i believe if the game survive, they will come back. I went home at 12.00am. Wish them all the best and the game. Hopefully, there'll be alot of gathering between PSOrian.

p/s: hiyoo...forgot to take picture...demmit



OST Cinta - Perpisahan - Anuar Zain

Perpisahan Lyrics
Artist: Anuar Zain

Ku mengerti perpisahan ini
Bukan kerana kau membenci
Tapi kasih yang pernah ku beri
Tiada lagi bersama

Sering kala aku terlihatkan mu
Impian nan indah julang bahagia

Ku harungi hari demi hari
Bersama wajah tak mungkin akan kembali
Tapi hati masih tak terima
Ditinggalkan sengsara

Keraguan ini bukanlah padamu
Perasaan hati masih rindu
Kekalutan ini hanyalah untukku
Tercari-cari bayanganmu
Tak sanggup aku kehilangan
Masih tercari-cari
Keraguan ini bukanlah padamu
Masih tercari-cari bayanganmu
Tak sanggup aku kehilanganmu

Friday, October 17, 2008

It aint over till its over

I broke the news to the players yesterday. On. November 1st 2008, i will close down pso server. This is so sadden and unfortunate. It breaks my heart more when i have to announce it myself. Sigh... They were shocked to hear the news and they're still in shocked now. There's alot of great plans for the game but i think i dont have a chance to do it. All PSO community will move to TJO, TienJi Online aka Secret Online. This game will be released in Disember, the first ever english version. But I doubt if its as good as PSO. Im going to play for the test server next week. Hope i will not be dissapointed. But as for PSO, it aint over till its over. Me and the community can still fight for it. 1st November is still weeks away and players will start spamming CIB n PGS emails. Hope our voice will be hear far reaches Hong Kong to Mr Ma Wing Sing acknowledgement. Fight till the end....PSO lives on


Thursday, October 16, 2008

Calm before the storm

Everthing's calm now since im back from cuti raya...other than my personal matters, everything in game look okay. Unless some problems regarding the assassins team and some report bout officers abuse power ingame. Im still investigating bout this matter but overall. Its quite and calm. Too clam. Everythings going too well. But things not as i expect them to be. Its just a calm before the storm. The storm is coming and its closing as day pass by. Not much time left. November 1st will be a historical date for most of us. Storm is coming faster than i expected and im not sure whether we all ready for it or not. I dont have the guts to face it but at this moment, i got no other choice than to face it. things happen too fast.... What am i suppose to say? What am i suppose to do to stop it? will i be able to or not? im just a small potato and wut might could i have to stop such far, at this very hour, i call it clam before the storm.....and its heading our way...


Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Dreaming of 61

Dunno why im so attached with this number....its not mine actually but i love the number. i wanna grab n kiss u 61....the first night i sang for u i'll make love to u.... hope u still remember. and this big wave we're surf through, in and out the world is just not the same without u. Remember the day when we yahoo around and the feeling is so wonderful like a morning breeze my 61. now everythin fades....the more i try to grab n hold u...the more u drift away.....i couldntb are losing u but i have to face the fact dat the numbers isnt mine to have. Life without u is not the same. With u im complete. Without u, im just an unidentified numbers. Badly need u but dont think will have u the way i used to. 61 is the greatest thing dat happened in my life and also the worst misery i ever felt. 61 give life and take it back....took me off the dark to light and throw me back in for eternity. But im too addicted to 61. too damn addicted...

forever love


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Quote of the day

everyday feel like putting a gun to my head n pull the trigger


As a human, our heart is so very fragile. Things dat we cherish the most, the we love the most will be the cause of our heartache and its true. Goosh i've been with 'her' for so many years and now its time to say goodbye. Wut i hate bout meeting is dat one day, we gotto depart. I wondering wuts my mistake? i've work so hard for this 'relationship' but all dat gone to waste. I feel dat my purpose in this world has gone and i dont have reason to sustain my existance in this 'world'. In the end of the day, i finally learned dat no matter how hard i work my ass off, no matter how many blood n guts i've given...its not always enuff n fate once again, mocking me. I dunno how and wut im going to tell the public. my heart is devastated. spirit has been broken. i feel like a naked child lying in the rain, cold and dark place feeling emptiness and nothingess. I have sight but i dunno where to go. I got legs but it leads me to nowhere. i got brain but my mind is somewhere else.

All dat i wanna do now is sit at my balcony at home, smoking some pots and playing guitar. Let all the neigbourhood hear my melancholic melody of sickness n patheticness echoing the night.


Sunday, October 12, 2008

A Tiring Week

This is a very tiring week. I moved house and now living in subang jaya. I just wanna put everything's behind. Let all my past buried there. But there's something bout the past that im afraid of, they always come back n hunt u down. As if no matter where i run, seems cant put my past behind. Anyway, new house still got no connection. This is sucks since streamyx promised to give me connection lastweek but they post pone it till monday which is today. As usual im back on duty. My back still hurts due to lifting too many heavy stuffs. Should have taken day off but i need to checkout the game n the players.


Saturday, October 4, 2008

A job at John Galt's Games

As everyone know, John Galts Games (formerly known as Phoenix Studio Games who make fungwan online) is looking for staff. Sitting at home boring..then i just open the company site and i found dat they're looking for staffs. There's one position dat im kinda crazily and lost my mind a bit when i saw the 'conceptual/texture artist'. OMG!!!! I've been dreaming for this position for a very long time but i dunno. Im kinda...divided. My heart strongly urge me to apply. Send them some of my works but how bout this game? who's gonna take over? Wut about the players who put their trusts n rely on me? What should i do? damn it im in kinda dilemma now. a fucking concept artist for mmorpg!!!! omg!!! I dunno whether my illustration skills match their requirement but i gotto try but wut about the game n the players? i love this game and i love my players. at this point...i dunno wut to think...


Holiday's up's almost up. On monday, i'll be back in the office doing wut im good at. The holiday is as if no holiday at all. Im still doing work although at home. Still monitor the game n players. Cant get away from all those stuff. Besides, i love doing wut im doing rite now. so many cases to look into next week. Some players still expect i reply the emails although they know, im on holiday lol. Well wut i can i a VIP now lolz. Famous n popular GM lolz!. Ok enough yapping. Continue work


Thursday, October 2, 2008

New PSO poster

I just finished made 1 new poster for pso, check it out

Technical pen, Adobe Photoshop & Illustrator

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Till we meet again

Rasanya sekejap ja Ramadhan berlalu. Terlalu pantas. Ako terlalu sibuk di pejabat...ako tak sempat nak menghayati keindahan ramadhan. Kenangan2 manis dan keindahan menyambut ramadhan bermula dari tahun lepas hinggalah ke zaman ke kanak2 ako...terlintas mcm ada satu screen dalam imaji ako. Bagi ako, Hari Raya takde makna. Ramadhanlah yg menceriakan kenangan ako. Skang dia dah pegi....setiap kalo dia pegi, ako tak pasti samada ako akan berjumpe lagi dengan dia atau pon tak. Semoga Allah panjangkan umur ako supaya tapi ako merasai nikmat ramadhan lagi. Ramadhan terlalu indah. Ramadhan memberikan satu perasaan yang takde tolok bandingnya lagi pada aku. Cuma masa terlalu cepat. Rasanya mcm baru ja semalam ako kanak2....sekarang dah besar panjang. Aku berharap utk menunggu ko lagi Ramadhan. YA Allah.... ketemukanlah aku dengan RamadhanMu lagi berserta dengan org2 yg aku kenali. Amin. Miss u Ramadhan...and this tears are for u.